Ch-ch-changes (aka adoption update from CT)

Often in life things don’t go as we planned. We can do our due diligence to try and ensure a favorable outcome, but sometimes circumstances are just beyond our control. With adoption, this is probably more typical than not, and something we have become accustomed to over the past 20 months.

Since moving to CT, our adoption journey has started moving down a different path. God has been working in ways that we never anticipated, and we are excited to share about it with you!

Two weeks ago we met with our new Bethany Christian Services caseworker. There was never any doubt that we would continue using this reputable agency after our move. However, our meeting was extremely deflating due to the information we learned about getting our adoption process up and running again in CT. There were countless updates needed for our file, new laws to abide by, and circumstances beyond our control that would make our adoption preferences difficult to meet. Bethany is a fantastic agency, but every branch operates differently and independently from each other. We could not have known these things while living in Pennsylvania and working through the Pittsburgh Bethany office.

Long story short, we are basically starting from scratch with the adoption process.

As you can imagine, we were very discouraged. As we processed through all of this, we felt like God was (and has been for a while!) moving our hearts in a slightly different way than we anticipated.

Something we learned from our new Bethany caseworker is that their CT office doesn’t provide services to adopt an older child from foster care. Their presence in CT is fairly new, and they are still a growing agency. Some of you may already know that we have become quite open to adopting a toddler or young child through the state foster care system. This was disappointing news for us, as we loved that option in PA, and we were considered for quite a few young children there.

After two weeks of prayer, research, phone calls, emails, and a large number of closed doors, we are overflowing with peace, excitement, and great anticipation! God has given us clarity in our decision, and a strong unity to move ahead together in a direction we never expected.

We are so excited to announce that we are going to pursue adopting a young child, or group of siblings, through the state of CT! This is something that God has gradually opened us up to over the past year, and was a path that previously felt frightening to us. Our change of heart can only be attributed to God’s grace, and the Holy Spirit working in our lives. It was actually one year ago this week (5/16/12), that He first started working on our hearts in this way, and began to open us up to children older than an infant. You can read more about that experience here if you would like: http://theswigers.blogspot.com/2012/06/opening-our-hearts.html

Over the past week we have been in contact with a fantastic local agency who we are confident will help us along in this new direction. We are currently up to our eyeballs in paperwork, and our prayer is that we will be approved to adopt, and “waiting” again by the end of the summer! We don’t know how old our child, or children, will be. We may still be placed with an infant straight from the hospital, but at this point it is unlikely. We are ok with that, and fully embracing this new direction with excitement!

This means, very sadly, that our time with Bethany Christian Services is coming to an end. Leaving Bethany has not been an easy decision. We wouldn’t be where we are today if we had never worked with Bethany in PA. The training and education we received was hugely influential in leading us to this decision, along with the staff, and other adoptive parents whom we met along the way.

We know that God makes no mistakes. He is good and righteous. He has not failed us by bringing these circumstances into our lives. He is not surprised by this change of plans either. We are thankful that His plans are much greater than we could ever imagine, and full of more goodness and glory than we could ever create on our own.

If you would like to pray for us, here are a few of our biggest requests:

*Safety for our child/children. We don’t know where they are, how old they are, and what sort of circumstances they are currently experiencing. Join us to pray that they would be physically safe from harm, neglect, and most importantly that God would be drawing them to Himself.

*A smooth completion of our paperwork, homestudy, and that we would be approved by the end of the summer (sooner would be amazing!).

* Patience, and content hearts, as we continue waiting for our family to grow. The “heart pain” we experience as we wait for the blessing of children is very real, and continues to grow.

Thank you, again, for joining us on this road. We are preeeety pumped about the new twist our adoption journey has taken :)

In every season

Today as I celebrate our risen Savior, I have much hope. Jesus is the victor. He has conquered sin, death, and hell. His death is my life, and His resurrection is my peace. For a sinner like me, saved by grace, this is the constant reality that I live in. “What more could be done than thou hast done!” (Valley of Vision, page 48). The burden of life can be enormously heavy at times, shifting between joy and pain at a moments notice. My hope needs to be in the one true God who never changes.

Today also marks the end of a season for Adam. He rose very early to prepare for his final Sunday morning at New Community Church. My heart was heavy as I watched him sing with the music team for the very last time. I see, more than anyone else, how much he loves his team, and the people he has led for over four years. He has done so with utmost humility, and faithfulness to God, even when ministry was burdensome, and the weight of criticism would take its toll. God’s glory, not his own, has always been his highest aim. It is an honor to have a front row seat in Adam’s life, and to follow such a kind and gentle leader.

At the same time, there is much joy in my heart as I think about where God has led us. In two short weeks, we will be driving seven hours east to a small town in Connecticut. My heart is at peace when I remember the faithfulness of God, and the doors He opened to lead us there. Though we carry a heavy burden right now as God is “loosening our roots” here in Pennsylvania, we are eager to begin this next season of ministry. It’s going to be different, and exciting, and we can’t wait to see what the Lord does.

Praise God for His sovereign, kind, and loving control over our lives, in every season. I find confidence in a Savior who never changes, even when everything else around me is sinking sand.

“Thy providence has set the bounds of my habitation,

and wisely administers all my affairs.”

-(Valley of Vision, page 5).

Running Uphill

I love going for long walks, especially on sunny days. In Pittsburgh, we don’t get a lot of sun, so I relish every ounce that pokes its way through the clouds. For years, I’ve also made jogging my exercise of choice. I don’t love to do it, but I always feel great afterwards and have never regretted a single run.

While in college, and during my time on staff with CRU, I would spend a few weeks at my parents home in Connecticut during the summer months. My jogging path always took me up a large windy hill on the road behind their home. Inevitably I would need to slow down and walk up the steepest portion of it, out of breath, with sweat pouring down my face. As I pushed myself a little more each day, that hill became less difficult to conquer. With each step, I could imagine cresting the top, and finishing my run on flat terrain. I put my faith in the fact that the road would level out after a few dozen more yards, and that kept me going. It always did. I had memorized every curve of that road, and I knew my perseverance would pay off.

Recently I feel like I’ve been running uphill while the culture is swiftly going in the reverse direction with great ease. This is challenging for me because one of my deepest temptations is to be liked by others. Following Christ, and living a life marked by obedience to His Word, is not always popular. I am a people-pleaser by nature, so when I am criticized, insulted, or misunderstood for taking a particular stance I wrestle with it for a while.  

The problem is my sin. I forget where my identity truly lies, I forget that suffering is promised, and I forget the One who can see into my heart, and knows my every thought. When I am criticized, or gossip makes its way back to me, I need to turn my heart and mind toward the truths laid out in Scripture. Just like when I keep my eyes on the crest of the hill, trusting that the terrain will flatten out and a respite will come, I also need to keep my heart saturated with God’s Word, trusting Him to bring me through any trial He ordains. There is no better way to persevere.

Maybe you’re currently “running uphill” too? If so, let these authoritative truths comfort your heart as you seek Jesus as your refuge. These have brought much comfort to my own heart over the past few weeks.

*He is more precious than life, and worth any suffering you will encounter. Psalm 63:3 - "Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you."

*Find comfort, and confidence, in the fact that God’s opinion of you is the only one that matters. He will be the final judge of you, and your accusers. 1 Corinthians 4:3-5 - "But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God."

*During trials, you have the privilege of sharing in Christ’s suffering. Embrace your trial as a friend, allowing God to do a good work in you. Insulted for Christ = blessing! Your trials are unique to you, granted by a good, kind, merciful, and loving Father. 1 Peter 4:12-14 - "Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you."

*Keep your eyes on God’s eternal reward. We can learn much from Moses who “choosing rather to be mistreated with the people of God than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. He considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward” - Hebrews 11:25-26.

“More than anything else could ever do, the gospel enables me to embrace my tribulations and thereby position myself to gain full benefit from them. For the gospel is the one great permanent circumstance in which I live and move; and every hardship in my life is allowed by God only because it serves His gospel purposes in me. When I view my circumstances in this light, I realize that the gospel is not just one piece of good news that fits into my life somewhere among all the bad. I realize instead that the gospel makes genuinely good news out of every other aspect of my life, including my severest trials. The good news about my trials is that God is forcing them to bow down to His gospel purposes and do good unto me by improving my character and making me more conformed to the image of Christ” 
– A Gospel Primer by Milton Vincent (pages 31-32). Italics mine.

A surprise leading to New England

Source

As I look back on Adam's job search, and the way we have been led to Connecticut, I can't help but remember the beautiful, and steadfast, faithfulness of God. It's really amazing when I examine all the details of our journey, and see the way God has faithfully opened and closed doors along the way. This was our prayer from the start. 

There were a handful of jobs we had hoped would work out, but they all fell through. We see now that this was a good thing, and came from the loving hand of a Father who knows us better than we know ourselves. So, imagine our surprise when we came across a worship pastor position, at a solid evangelical church in Southbury Connecticut, only thirty minutes away from my parents and younger sister. Southbury Baptist Church seemed like a good fit, and Adam was eager to pursue the position. 

To back up the story a little bit, last summer, while spending a week in Cape Cod, Adam and I started praying about New England. We wondered if God was starting to stir up a desire in us to reach this "unreached people group" in our own country. To be completely honest, places like North Carolina, California, and Tennessee, sounded much more appealing to me (oh the WARM SUNSHINE in those places!). But, God is so good. About two months later Southbury Baptist Church came on the scene. This is where God is bringing us, and we couldn't be more excited/nervous/eager to jump in. An added bonus - Connecticut still has far more sunshine than Pittsburgh, and will be wonderful for my seasonally depressed heart ;)

New England is now referred to as "the new American missional frontier." It is the least-churched, and least-reached, area of the nation. There are quite a few churches in New England, but few are wakened to the gospel. It's actually quite ironic because New England has some of the most picturesque, quaint, and historic, churches in the country. The Great Awakening began there (Jonathan Edwards and George Whitefield), and the history of evangelicalism runs deep in that area of the country. Sadly, many of the churches there are dwindling, have no desire to change, or to become evangelical. Many have been dead for a long time now. 

A personal story from my childhood, (and one that I will never forget), was sitting in a Christmas Eve service at a church our family attended for only a couple of years. The pastor at the time chose to read the book How the Grinch Stole Christmas for his "teaching" that evening. Needless to say, our family was in shock. I still experience a bit of righteous anger when I think about it today. 

"The need for gospel-centered missional churches throughout new England is dire" ~ Jared Wilson, pastor of Middletown Springs Community Church in Vermont. Amen, Jared.

As I anticipate our move to Connecticut, there are varying emotions that I battle on a daily basis. It's never good to place trust in feelings, so a constant look back at how God opened and closed doors for us eases my anxious heart. On one hand, it's really hard to leave Pittsburgh, and our New Community Church family. We love our NCC family, and it has been incredibly difficult to move on, although we are confident in our decision to do so. Pittsburgh is where Adam has always called home, and I have grown to love this place deeply as we started our marriage here over three years ago. It's just going to be hard to say goodbye. 

On the other hand, Adam and I are daily growing in our excitement for this new adventure together in New England. Our house is on the market, we've packed up many of our belongings, and we're growing in eager anticipation of what God may do as we take this huge step of faith. We are longing to start growing with our Southbury Baptist Church family, and be with them for as long as the Lord wills. We love them already!

We're not naive to the fact that ministering in New England is going to have its challenges. It's a tough area to do gospel work, but we know that God is moving, and starting to thaw the hardened hearts of the people who live there. We're thrilled, and count it a huge privilege, to be a part of what God is doing in New England, Connecticut, and Southbury Baptist Church. Maybe he's calling you to this unreached area as well?? Can't hurt to throw it out there :)

We would love your prayers as we move forward. This transition is going to be a big one for us, and we have a little over a month left in Pittsburgh to get all our ducks in a row. We hope to sell our townhouse, find a home of our own near the church (we'll be living with my parents until that happens), and get the adoption transferred to the Connecticut Bethany office asap. There are many unknowns at this point, so we continue to trust the only wise God, who knows all things, sees all things, and works all things out for the good of those who love Him.

Why we are leaving our church

*Disclaimer – this post is written for the people of New Community Church, but we welcome others to read along as well (it has been published publically for anyone to see). Earlier this week the pastors of NCC chose to announce the specific doctrinal reason that we have decided to leave our church over. The information in this post shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone who received the video announcement, from NCC leadership, about our departure. We want to be clear that we are not undermining our church's leadership in sharing the below information. They have given us permission to post this. Also, this post is quite lengthy, so I won’t go into details about where we are going in Connecticut. That will be saved for a separate future post, along with details about transferring the adoption to CT (which should be a fairly simple process).

By now, those who attend New Community Church have heard the news that Adam and I will be leaving the church this spring. We will be moving to Connecticut where Adam will take a Worship Pastor position at a church there. It is with great sadness that we have chosen to make this life changing decision. NCC has been Adam’s church home for over four years, and mine for over three. We are covenant members, and have been fully committed to serving here since we arrived. We love our NCC family with a deep Christ-like affection, and as a result, this has been one of the most difficult weeks of our lives.

The decision to leave New Community Church has never been an easy one. It’s a decision we have been wrestling with for about a year now. Our love for the pastors, elders, staff, and congregation of NCC runs incredibly deep. We can’t even begin to describe the heartache, and pain, we are experiencing as we think about leaving those we love so dearly. We knew that leaving NCC would be excruciatingly difficult, and it has certainly proved to be so.

At the same time, our love for Christ and His church, and our love for the truth, and for upholding God's precious Word, is more important to us than the pain we are currently experiencing. We stand firm in our decision and know it is the best move for our family.

Our heart for this lengthy post is to express our love for those at NCC, and our convictions about why we have decided to leave. We know this specific doctrinal issue is a divisive one, and can be deeply personal. Our heart is not to divide, but to pursue peace and unity with you until the very end. We believe that can happen, even in our disagreement.

We are grateful for the pastors at NCC, who have done the best they can in an extremely difficult situation, to communicate our reason for leaving with the congregation. However, we do believe it is important for you to hear from us personally. We would LOVE to sit down with all 600 of you face to face, but we know that is impossible with the short time we have left here. We aren’t naïve to the fact that even with the clearest of communication, some will still probably misunderstand us. We’re ok with that. Our highest aim is to please God, not man, but we will do our absolute best to make sure we are at peace with everyone before we depart. That is our heart, and we give you full permission to seek us out if you would like to engage about this issue.

If you remember one thing from this post, let it be that our reason for leaving has never been anything personal. Although our reason for leaving is a very personal issue, we don’t leave here with enmity in our hearts toward anyone at NCC. We deeply love NCC, and every person there. Period.

Below is just a brief explanation of the stance we have taken, and what our convictions are. Keep in mind that this is not an exhaustive exegesis of what the Bible teaches about complementarianism, but the basics of why Adam and I have chosen to part ways with NCC.

As you have already heard, we are leaving NCC because we are convicted about how the church should be run, and who should be running it. We have taken a complementarian stance, as opposed to NCC’s egalitarian stance. As complementarians, we believe that women are equal to men in dignity, value, and worth and can serve in MANY leadership roles in the church. There are numerous positions and opportunities for women to serve in, especially at NCC. Some of the best church programs, and ministries, in this area are happening at NCC, and very gifted and capable women are running them. Adam and I think that is amazing, and we have loved supporting these women, and being a part of that! We affirm these women, and their call to serve the church with their unique gifts. We wish more godly, strong, and capable women would step up to serve and lead at NCC! There are many of them and we don’t want to see them go to waste!

As complementarians, we celebrate women and the unique gifts that God has given them. The fact that we believe that women are equal to men in dignity, value, and worth, but with distinct and complementary roles, cannot be stated enough.

For me personally, Adam has been the biggest support of my unique God given gifts from the very start of our relationship. His affirmation of the way God has made me, and the unique gifts I bring to our marriage, and the local church, speak louder than the most sincere compliment from any other person on this planet. My husband loves me and affirms me often! His sincere encouragement in regard to my role as a wife, and a woman, pushes me forward to experience the abundant freedom God’s design for women brings.

I think this is worth repeating…there is incredible freedom in fulfilling the calling God has for men and women, in regard to their unique roles as presented in scripture. We firmly believe this, and experience it in our own marriage on a day-to-day basis.

Complementarianism does NOT condone subordination and/or patriarchal, societal oppression of women. That is NOT what the Bible teaches. That is NOT what Adam and I support. We affirm that Scripture intends for women to flourish! We believe this happens when we live according to God’s Word, and His design. Complementarianism is a beautiful thing for us, and we firmly believe that our marriage wouldn’t be as strong as it is today if we chose to operate in a manner not supported by scripture.

So, where is the disagreement?

The issue for us comes in our conviction of who should be in authority over the church. As complementarians, we believe that the office of elder/overseer is reserved for men (specifically stated in 1 Timothy and Titus). We believe the Bible is very clear on this, and that God has ordained specific roles for men and women in the home, and (just as importantly!) the local church. NCC has chosen to place women in the role of elder, and we cannot in good conscience support that.

We see the theme of complementarianism modeled all throughout Scripture starting with creation, and the created order. We also see it modeled in the functional hierarchy of the Trinity, as the Son submits to the Father, and the Spirit submits to the Father and the Son. We don’t believe the qualifications for elders, in 1 Timothy and Titus, are based on the culture of that time, which egalitarians would affirm. We believe the parameters for how the local church should be governed, as stated in Scripture, is rooted in the created order, and not something to be made more culturally acceptable for today. The complementarian stance is definitely not culturally acceptable, or popular, but to be quite honest, we’re more concerned with obedience to the Word of God, and pleasing Him.

So, why do we believe this is a good reason to leave the church?

This is a very important question to ask in our culture of consumerism. Hearts, and motivations, need to be seriously examined before anyone decides to withdraw from their local church.

For us, we see this as an issue of Biblical authority. This is not a gospel issue (aka a “matter of salvation”), but it deals with how Scripture is dealt with and applies to our lives. We believe the complementarian standpoint is clearly stated in Scripture, and we are not willing to compromise our convictions as we seek to submit to Biblical authority. We believe that submission to Biblical authority is of utmost importance, and a very good reason to leave a church.

In this situation, someone must compromise. For complementarians at NCC (Adam and myself) our conscience is violated as we sit under a church government we don't see supported by scripture. At the same time, we would never expect an egalitarian to feel completely comfortable serving, and learning submissively, under a complementarian church government. Their conscience would be violated as well!

Does this mean we have nothing to learn from each other? Of course not! Adam and myself have learned a tremendous amount under NCC’s leadership. We value, respect, and deeply love, each person (man and woman), who serves as a pastor or elder at this church. Our prayer has always been that, despite our disagreement, we would submit to our church leadership, and learn from them as much as we can. We know we have not done that perfectly, but we hope we have done it well.

With all that being said, we firmly believe it will be better for the long-term peace of the organization for us to leave.

We have been earnestly praying that NCC would choose to move in a different direction, for a number of years now. God has not chosen to answer our prayers in the way we desired, and that’s okay. Instead, He has clearly shown us that since we are not in a position, nor do we have the influence, to change the direction of NCC, it makes more sense for us to leave. To protect unity, and to serve unhindered, we need to be in a place where our convictions are in line with the church leadership we serve under.

I also think it’s worth mentioning that when Adam accepted the worship leader position at NCC in 2009, he did not have these convictions, and had no issue with the way NCC operates. This is something that God has grown in him over the past four years, and opened his eyes to.

I’ll close by saying that during our time at NCC, we have seen beautiful evidences of God’s grace at work in the leadership, and congregation. We have seen individuals come to know Jesus, be baptized, and grow in discipleship. We have participated in multiple small groups where the fellowship was sweet, and life-long friendships were built. We were showered with love, support, prayers, and extremely generous financial gifts, when we jumped head first into a domestic adoption process.

We will never forget these things.

We will always remember how God used the people at NCC to grow us, refine us, and push us closer to Jesus.

It has truly been a privilege to serve here.

With deep love,

Adam and April Swiger